Anti -Scammer Advice for the lovelorn ;)

Let’s consider this anti-scammer 101.

I will be your teacher as I have found that scammers love me on Twitter.

They are military men that love to reach out because they love my profile picture. (Red flag # 1)

They love to read and find my blog posts fascinating (perhaps red flag #2)

These men are highly educated and are at least Majors or Generals.  (Red Flag #3)

These military minded men are also based in many areas of the world doing humanitarian work for me, Ms. Joni Q Public. ( I admit that one always gets me. )

Once they make contact and want to be my friend and admire my writing skills, they send me an email explaining about their sadness at being a widower.  Sometimes the poor souls are left with a small child that just needs a mother figure. “A kind-hearted woman like yourself. ”

I had to stop writing for a moment to wipe away the tear.   I’m fine now.

We have all met them, now comes the lessons.

1. Do not tell them your age, they will miraculously age to 1 year older than you even if the picture looks like they are 20 years younger.
2. At the first mention of their health problems, prepare to be asked for money for medication.  The Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, no longer provide medications for peacekeeping forces.
3. They not only do not provide medicine, they do not provide decent food to eat.  The first day will often be filled with the  important question, “Did you eat today?”
4. When you say yes to their food questions and tell them what you had, these military men will assure you that they do not have snacks, and the food there is horrible.  Then they remind you, “do not to tell anyone that I asked about food.  It makes me sound like I am  starving!”
5. “Can you send me some stuffs.” Scammers always pluralize Stuff. It goes along with their extreme highly educated military position.  This is a massive red flag.
6. If you say to yourself, what the heck I can pick up a few snacks at the Dollar Tree and send it over, you are on the slippery slope.
7. These starving and proud soldiers will also ask you not to tell anyone that we are talking and that he has asked for stuffs. That might have someone else alerted to a red flag or two,  and every scammer knows, we can’t have that.
8. The Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines force our military heroes to use a local procurer to get the stuffs, they are not allowed to safely receive the stuffs from America. Only money, please wire the funds to their friend John.  Typically has the same first name as your beloved scammer.

My solutions: 

At the first mention of money, immediately let them know that you:

• Have recently lost your job.
• Have just lost your home.
• Are borrowing wifi from a local business.
• Are living under an interstate overpass.

At this point, you will have gained their sympathy.

This is when you play your trump card. 

Ask them to wire you money to a third party person that controls all your money in Milwaukee Wisconsin.

Carefully type ” Can you wire me money?  Can you please wire money to 749 W State St, Milwaukee, WI 53233. Wire it to my friend John Taylor. He is in charge of my accounts.”

The fun part is that is the address of the local police station and administration building in Milwaukee Wisconsin. It is best if you do not live anywhere near Wisconsin.

Tell your dream soldier to wire the money to John Taylor. (I always use that name in honor of the scammer that almost had me fooled into sending him food and stuffs. )

A final fun point is to keep writing “hello? Hello? “Are you there?”  “Did you send it yet?” I like to provide them with a little stress before I block them. Or leave them unblocked as you laugh about their stunned silence.  John should be happy now, he wanted me to write his story.  Now I have.

Have a scammer story of your own? Share with me, we lovelorn people need to swap our stories.