Beau is confused. He has been waiting for his sister, Arrow, to come home from wherever it was that we went last Tuesday. He looks at me with distrusting eyes every time I lead him outside. He did witness me take her out of the house last week and return alone and sad. He watches me unblinking as he performs his potty ritual outside then runs back to my leg and stands directly under my hand. He raises his head so that I can touch him with my fingertips. Only then does he relax and re-enter the house.
This has been a sad week for Beau and I . We have been graced with the presence of one of the cats that typically sleeps outside and alone. The large yellow cat, Mufasa, has taken to sleeping in the bed with me in the exact spot that Arrow always slept. Mufasa purrs until I fall asleep while Beau snuggles on the other side of me in his usual spot. The only change at night is that Beau who is not a snuggler, has decided that we must sleep back to back as long as possible. Not the usual quick nap on the bed before removing himself to the cooler floor and crate.
When I look into those deep brown eyes so deep that it is difficult to differentiate the pupil from the cornea. His gaze is unwavering and he stays right beside me. That is until I pour out his cup of food. Not the usual two cups that he always shared with Arrow, but half of the usual amount. Yet, Beau only eats half. He saves the other half for his missing sister.
He sits down and waits. He waits there on the little rug giving her a chance to come eat her fill. He has been doing this for a month while she was unable to eat solid food. He eventually goes back and finishes the food. He is logical after all.
The best information I can find online says that a dog usually only grieves for about two weeks. I hope that is true. I can not stand the thought of my Beau being broken hearted for a long time.
There are three children that live here with Beau and I. They have taken to playing with him more than usual. They are aware that he is missing the lively girl that even when sick would still play with her duck and with her much loved brother.
Arrow was the Alpha in this pack of ours. She made up all the game rules in the silly games she and Beau played. She made the rules in her fetch game which meant that she did not drop the duck, if you wanted her to fetch it, then you had to wrestle it away from her. Arrow announced when it was time to go outside and when it was time to come back inside. She set the 10:00 bedtime for us all. Arrow was the one that came into the computer room later in the night to remind me that I was off schedule. Yes, Arrow was the Alpha and now we are pack leaderless. It is truly a time for adjustment.
Her duck the most prized possession, sits untouched beside the crate. Beau will not even look at it. It is like a monument to our girl. All that we have left of her are the pictures and her duck. It has almost been a week, I am hoping for a happier less depressed Beau in the near future. Not that we will stop missing her, she was too unique and important to be forgotten. All I can hope for is for it to be less painful to think and remember her, for both Beau and I in the near future. I thought I would share Beau’s progress and perhaps it would ease this emptiness that still exists in my heart.