My Arch Nemesis, On Computer, Kindle Fire, and Most Especially, My iPhone

Writing is my favorite, task, past time, hobby, and job. Yet, there is a dark force that works against me as often as possible. You may have dealt with the Dark One yourself.  It lurks everywhere and it is as relentless as it is ruthless.

AUTO_CORRECT 

That unrelenting helper that keeps me sounding on a text as if I have had a minor stroke or am suffering from Dementia. Or both!

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This seemingly benign application that changes my intentional “u” to an “i” and makes me sound awkward to people when I say “I have all my ducks in a row for the upcoming release.”  My children send me those odd emoji faces and I have to go back and explain I meant DUCKS. My daughter writes back, “Say what now? I’m intrigued but not interested, Mom.”

When I send a garbled message to my daughter about an important temper tantrum of the seven-year-old autocorrect turns it into “She laid in the gloir and screaming with the bud out front.”  I was simply trying to say the bus was out front while she laid on the floor screaming.  I get the response, “Are you going to the doctor today?”

It is not funny when you call your child Hiney instead of Honey. Lucky for me, my daughters are considerate and loving and only ask about my health.

One daughter asked if I was taking too much medicine.  All in all, Auto-Correct has made me appear as a weak woman with speech issues.

My auto-correct needs autocorrect.